Porn VS Reality – Getting Real with a Male Pornstar

This is my favorite interview of the podcast so far. Why? Because after all the porn I’ve watched in my life, and after my own personal struggles with porn addiction… It was a great learning experience to talk with someone who spent decades in the adult industry. A pornstar who was probably in AT LEAST one porn video that I masturbated to when I was younger. Statistically, it has to be true.

We got into a lot of fascinating topics, and you can watch this episode here, or go below the video to get into questions like “how do pornstars last so long in bed?”

Watch the Episode Here:

How do Pornstars Last So Long?

A lot of people want to know the answer to this… I certainly did when I was younger, because I used to massively struggle with premature ejaculation. It seems like male pornstars last forever, and it turns out, many of them can (and have to so they get their paycheck).

In this interview I learned that it’s common for adult actors to have to be hard in front of the cameras for up to 3 hours or more! That means male pornstars have to be able to last for hours, and have to be able to ejaculate only when the director wants. That’s a super high level of sexual control that requires some serious discipline. Porn stars are basically like the peak athletes of professional sports (except we’re talking about sex here).

You’ll hear some of Erik’s mental ejaculation control techniques in this episode. You’ll hear why he never took any erectile dysfunction drugs, and you’ll also hear his thoughts on why you just can’t overcome biology sometimes (in relationship to premature ejaculation). Interesting stuff.

Is Porn Fake? 

Absolutely. Porn is NOT real life. And, it’s a whole new level of fascinating to hear Erik talk about just how fake the porn industry actually is. In this episode you’ll hear about times on porn sets where the male and female performers were incredibly angry at each other, but had to have sex in all kinds of different positions anyways. They had to act/appear like they were in pleasure and loving it for the sake of the camera, and for their paychecks. 

In porn you never see all the prep and hard work that goes into a scene. You never see the conversations that happen beforehand, and you never see the negotiation of what sex acts will be done. All you see is the finished product of professionally-edited visual stimulation perfection. This impacts our brains in big ways, and it’s why some organizations and people on social media are calling porn the new drug.

For example, In the realms of anal sex, most porn videos go straight to full penetrative anal sex without any prep at all. They simply don’t film the 20+ minutes of prep time the female performers do to open their bodies enough to receive anal (using their fingers, anal dilators, and anal toys).

What AREN’T We Seeing in Porn?

With the average shoot time being at least 3 hours, and with most porn videos today being less than 10 minutes, you’re only seeing a maximum of 18% of what happens during that porn shoot. If a porn video is only 5 minutes, you’re only seeing a maximum of 9% of what happened on that porn shoot.

The first thing to become very clear about is this: when you watch porn, you are seeing FAKE sex. It’s not real life. It’s hard for our brains & bodies to tell the difference when we’re sitting in front of the computer screen though…That’s why it’s helpful to hear from male ex-porn stars about the reality of being an adult actor in the porn industry…

PLEASE don’t try to copy anything you see in porn with your real life sexual partner. That’s a recipe for disaster. Yes you CAN act out your sexual fantasies in healthy ways (bdsm erotic scenes, female domination, role play, erotic massage, etc), but you’ve got to know how to talk about sex with your partner FIRST. 

How to Get Over Performance Anxiety

A lot of guys struggle with getting erections… especially after watching porn. This can lead to performance anxiety and all kinds of sexual dysfunction…

Imagine going to a job interview and being asked: “can you get and sustain an erection any time you want?” Wow… And for that job, there’s only one right answer.

In the life of a porn actor, performance anxiety is not an option. Erik started working as a pornstar before viagra was a thing, so he needed to understand how to get an erection without any performance enhancing drugs. In this episode you’ll learn some techniques and simple things you can do to overcome performance anxiety.

Apparently there used to be a mentorship thing that happened in the porn world, where the older guys would teach the younger guys how to overcome performance anxiety and get erections on command. That changed once viagra came on the scene.

Now it’s estimated that 85%+ of male porn stars take viagra, or some other erection-enhancing drug. Some adult performers even get an injection in their penis (called Caverject) to give them an involuntary erection for the duration of the shoot. Imagine that.

If you experience performance anxiety, Erik created a course to help you on your journey. It’s called Crushing Performance Anxiety, and even though I don’t struggle with this anymore, I plan to take it just to learn from what he has to offer. (Course link in resources section at the bottom of this page).

Is Porn Bad for You?

We finish the conversation with a philosophical inquiry into the impact of porn. Is porn unhealthy? Is it bad for you? Interestingly, we get to hear Erik’s perspective of the impact of porn on society in general.

My opinion? I don’t think porn is inherently bad or good. Porn just exists. It’s our use of porn that is the problem. That being said, the risks are very high with porn too. I like to think of porn as cocaine for your penis. Cocaine can be really fun, but it can also cause MASSIVE problems in every area of your life, very quickly. To me porn is the same.

If you’re watching porn regularly, I suggest that you take a break and enjoy the benefits of not ejaculating for 7 days. Take my 7-day semen retention challenge linked to below. Watch what happens to your mind and entire nervous system.

If you like this interview, please share it with your friends and spread the good word! We all need to be having the porn vs reality conversation. 

Episode times & topics:

• 03:51 How long do you have to last for a porn shoot?
• 06:09 What would Erik tell his younger self about sex?
• 13:00 Does sexual chemistry matter between pornstars?
• 23:50 Mental performance & sexual performance
• 32:15 How to get an erection anytime you want
• 44:23 Presence is everything in sex
• 48:50 The reality of anal sex in porn
• 1:02:02 What is the impact of porn? Is porn unhealthy?

Connect with Erik

• Erik’s Website
• Erik’s Course: Crushing Performance Anxiety
• Erik’s Instagram: (@erikeverhardofficial)

 

Connect with Taylor:

• Orgasmic Mastery Course
• Taylor’s Instagram
• Taylor’s Youtube Channel
• Taylor’s Website
• FREE 7-Day Semen Retention Challenge
• FREE Ejaculation Control Guide