As a teenager it’s possible to ejaculate 5 or 6 times (or more) in a day and feel great. Once you get to be in your late 20s or early 30s though, it’s an entirely different story… I’m 34, and if I ejaculated 5 times in one day it would fuck me up. So how often should you ejaculate?
Let’s get into it…
Your Ideal Ejaculation Frequency (IEF)
This is the main concept I want you to take from this article. Your ejaculation frequency has a direct impact on EVERY aspect of your life.
Only you can determine your ideal ejaculation frequency, and in this article you’ll read perspectives from Tantric, Yogic and Taoist Sexuality philosophies that will help you figure this out.
We’ll talk about the modern practices of semen retention and nofap too.
Before we get there, we need to debunk a major myth first:
Your Brain is a Sex Organ
There’s this myth/illusion in our western world that sex lives in an isolated box in our genitals… but nothing could be further from the truth.
WE ARE SEXUAL BEINGS
Your brain is sex organ, and your entire body is too. The decisions you make with your sex life impact your entire life. Don’t believe me? Consider this:
If you’re constantly ejaculating while watching porn, you’re constantly programming your brain to associate arousal and pleasure with pixels on a screen. This hits many men like a drug, and the effects are so intense that lots of men who habitually “use” porn find it difficult to get and sustain an erection with a real women.
If you’re constantly letting your energy go through excess ejaculations, you’re living in a perpetual state of ejaculation hangover. This is a state of non-peak performance where your mental clarity, motivation, confidence and drive are lower than they could be.
How do you think this could impact you when you go in for a business meeting? For an interview? For a negotiation? You probably won’t have that extra energy and fire needed to push through and make something truly great happen.
This is why Napoleon Hill included an entire chapter in his book “Think and Grow Rich” called The Mystery of Sex Transmutation. After talking to a group of the worlds most successful men, Napoleon realized that these men were able to build, harness and utilize their sexual energy to supercharge the creation of their financially successful business ventures…
“The individuals of greatest achievement tend to be those who have highly developed sexual natures and who have learned the art of sex transmutation.”
Then he famously says this:
“Sexual energy is the creative energy of virtually all geniuses.”
To which he then clarifies:
“The mere possession of sex energy itself is not sufficient to produce genius. The energy must be transmuted from desire for merely physical contact, into some other form of desire and action before it will lift one to the status of a genius.”
These are important pieces of the puzzle to consider when we’re asking the question of how often should you ejaculate.
Tantric & Taoist Perspectives on Ejaculation
Eastern traditions (like Tantra & Taoist Sexuality) have linked sexual power with ejaculation frequency for literally thousands of years. These traditions have a lot to offer us because they generally take a more holistic approach to health than we do in the west.
There are lots of modern branches of these traditions, and even though they share similar fundamental philosophies, they still give different recommendations for how often you should ejaculate:
- One Tantra school says you should only ejaculate for procreation (while having as much sex as you want).
- Another Tantra school says that you should ejaculate only as often as you can give blood (every 8 weeks).
- One branch of Taoist Sexuality says that you should ejaculate at a specific frequency that is related to your age (for example: view the image below).
- Another branch of Taoist Sexuality says you should ejaculate based on what season it is (for example: zero ejaculations during the winter, occasional ejaculations during the spring, and very infrequent ejaculations during summer and fall).
Here’s an example from Mantak Chia’s book The Multiorgasmic Man:
It’s important to note that all of these traditions believe you should cultivate your sexual energy and be intentional with your ejaculations.
They all believe that excessive ejaculation depletes your sexual energy (life force), and makes you a less powerful being. They believe that sexual energy is a powerful resource that should be cultivated and treated with reverence… and that if you cultivate your sexual energy, every area of your life will improve.
(I’ve included specific real-world examples of this later in this article).
In these traditions, sex is viewed as a healthy, beautiful, and joyful act that should be experienced regularly, with intention, care, and celebration. That sounds a bit different from our western view of sex, doesn’t it? Western society’s views on sex are disappointing, and often misleading…
How Often Should You Ejaculate?
Again, the short answer is: You have your own ideal rate of ejaculation that is specific to you, and you alone.
The longer answer is: As often as it feels good for you, with one major catch…
When I say “feels good,” I’m not talking about the instant gratification kind of feels good. I’m talking about a deeper, core existential level of feels good. I’m talking about when you are in full alignment with your life purpose, where you feel powerful, abundant, confident, on-purpose, open and easeful in your body.
If you ejaculate often and/or watch porn often, you probably haven’t experienced the levels of “feel good” I’m talking about.**
**Frequent ejaculations and regular porn consumption can affect your brain in ways that reduce your ability to perform at your highest levels, AND that reduce your ability to have meaningful connections with other humans.
Determining your Ideal Ejaculation Frequency
To determine your ideal ejaculation frequency, you’ll need to experiment. If you ejaculate every day, try going 3 days without ejaculating and see how you feel. Then you could try going 7 days, 14 days, 21 days or even 30 days without ejaculating.
Notice how your levels of clarity, motivation, and confidence change. Pay attention to the little things too. For example, observe the following:
After you ejaculate…
- Do you drink more caffeine?
- Are you more irritable?
- Do you find your partner less attractive?
- Do you feel drained?
- Do you have brain fog?
If any of these things happen for you, you probably need to increase the amount of time between your ejaculations.
On the other hand, if you feel empowered, clear, charged and easeful after you ejaculate, it’s a sign that the time between your ejaculations is ideal. But be careful with your self-assessment, because if you’ve never gone a longer period of time without ejaculating, you probably don’t have an appropriate frame of reference to compare to.
I recommend making notes about your experiments. I write about this in my journal. Something about writing it down on paper really helped everything land for me.
Your Ejaculation Assignment
Experiment with your ejaculation frequency, and observe your energy levels for 4 to 6 weeks. Make detailed notes in your journal about how you feel each day, and pay extra close attention to the day and days after you ejaculate.
After 4 to 6 weeks you should have a more clear idea of what your ideal ejaculation frequency is.
AND – It’s important to know that your ideal ejaculation frequency will shift over time. This is worth figuring out for yourself because the benefits of getting this right are amazing. I didn’t realize how much of an impact all of this had on my life until I did my own experiments…
30 Days Without Ejaculating
This was one of the most life-changing self-experiments I have done. I decided to go for 30 days without ejaculating, and it improved literally every area of my life.
Before this 30-day experiment, I couldn’t see outside of my self-imposed bubble… I thought I knew what was best for me…
To make a beer analogy:
My sex life was as if I always drank shitty beer because I it was the only thing I knew, and I didn’t have any idea how amazing local craft beer could be. One day I decided to make the switch to craft beer, and it was as if a whole new world of pleasure opened up for me.
When Should You Ejaculate?
I’m sharing all of this in the context of the practice of semen retention, which I know I haven’t talked much about in this article. If you want to dive deeper into that topic, check out my semen retention guide.
For now, consider these things:
- Do not ejaculate when you are sick. If you do, your body will not have as much energy to help you recover.
- Do not ejaculate right before a sports game or physical challenge. Your performance will likely suffer. Check out Muhammad Ali’s perspective on ejaculation and performance if you don’t believe me.
- If you have a huge work week ahead of you, in which you have to be at your peak performance all day every day, consider waiting to ejaculate until the end of the week.
If you do ejaculate when you’re trying not to, don’t worry about it. Enjoy it! Love yourself. It’s okay. This is a practice. It’s common for men to get down on themselves and experience shame if they accidentally ejaculate. I know that experience well, and that shame never helps anybody.
Enjoy your pleasure and keep living.
It might be time to ejaculate if…
- You have gone a long time without ejaculating and you feel constantly tense and/or agitated.
- You feel that you might emotionally or physically explode at any moment (you could also try qigong, yoga or going to the gym and getting an intense physical work out)
- You’re ready. Go for it! Enjoy it. Ejaculating can be a wonderful experience. The important thing is to notice the difference between the physically addictive urge to ejaculate in a moment of pleasure, and your body’s healthy timeframe to ejaculate.
My Personal Ejaculation Practice:
I ejaculate about once every 10 days.
I can have as much sex and masturbation during that time as I want, as long as I make sure to integrate and transmute my sexual energy so I don’t get blue balls or go agro crazy.
When I know that I’m about to have sex, I decide BEFORE sex begins IF I’m going to ejaculate or not. Usually I don’t… and I’ve gotta say that the less I ejaculate, the more incredible the times when I do ejaculate become.
Another benefit of this is that if you make a steadfast decision not to ejaculate before you begin to have sex, you will have a much easier time lasting as long as you want in bed. Your mind is incredibly powerful, and it can be a great ally in the practice of semen retention and ejaculation control.
I Practice Semen Retention
Semen retention is essentially the modern equivalent of the Tantric and Taoist traditions of sexual cultivation. I’ve written lots about semen retention in other articles, and if you’re interested in it, I recommend checking out my Semen Retention Guide, and then signing up for this:
Closing Thoughts on Ejaculation Frequency…
If you cultivate your sexual energy and don’t ejaculate all the time, you can uplevel every area of your life.
How often should you ejaculate? Probably less often than you currently are. Try an experiment. Your life is worth the effort.