My name is Taylor, and I struggled with premature ejaculation and low sexual confidence for years. I’ve written this article to help you build your sexual energy because I wish I had something like this when I was younger.
For context…
I used to avoid sexual encounters with women because I was afraid of ejaculating too quickly, and I was addicted to porn (while being too ashamed to talk about it).
At the same time, I meditated, practiced yoga, listened to spiritual talks, did nightly lucid-dream practice, played in a kirtan band and had great girlfriends.
Something was off though…
My overall charge and zest for life was low. There was zero integration of my sex and spirit, and the concept of healthy sexual power was non-existent.
I share this with you just so you know where I came from.
If you’ve ever struggled with anything like this, you’re not alone. No matter where you are right now, you have the opportunity to align your sex and spirit, build your sexual energy and feel sexually incredible, confident and powerful.
I can say with 100% confidence that if you do everything in this article, your life will change forever.
These 5 ways to build your sexual energy work. (I’m telling you this from personal experience, and from supporting many men go through their own sexual transformations).Â
There are a few more intro concepts I’d like to introduce, but if you want to skip ahead to the first way to build your sexual energy, click that link (it’ll take you further down on this page).Â
Healthy Sexual Power
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful forces in this universe. It lives in your body, and it is a direct connection to the force that brings all life into this world. With practice, you can cultivate this power and use it to strengthen any aspect of your life.
This idea has been around for a long time in Tantric and Taoist Sexual philosophies, which view sex as a beautiful thing that should be celebrated and treated with reverence. These philosophies both believe that when you build your sexual energy and align it with your intentions and connection to a higher power/purpose, you can achieve greatness.
What is Sexual Energy?
Some traditions say that the foundation of everything in existence is sexual. Look around you – every plant and animal (including us humans) is the direct result of reproduction. Put into other terms, reproduction is the point at which life-force energy takes form.
When you feel sexually aroused, there is a different quality to this energy. It tingles, it’s warm, it can feel luscious and can sometimes have a pressure behind it. For the sake of this article, THAT is what I’m talking about when I refer to sexual energy. It’s the charge you feel in your body when you become sexually aroused (that you didn’t feel before).
The Benefits of Building Your Sexual Energy
When you cultivate your sexual energy, you can experience more clarity, more alignment with your life purpose, more confidence, ease, resilience, and deeper connection with life, yourself, and others. Your ability to make more money increases, your creativity blossoms, and you become more attractive too.
Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? It is… and while it’s relatively simple, it does take practice and discipline… and IT’S WORTH IT. Everything I’ll share with you below works, you just have to do it. I promise that if you commit and do these practices, your life will change forever.
Let’s jump into it… The 5 Ways to Build Your Sexual Energy:
1. Learn to Orgasm Without Ejaculation
Why? Because when you have an orgasm without ejaculation (which feels incredible), you gain a tremendous amount of energy. There’s no crash after the orgasm like there is with the typical ejaculation… that heightened sexual energy stays in your system, and it can feel like the gold star in Super Mario Brothers.
Another benefit of non-ejaculatory orgasms is that you can have many of them, over and over and over… and ride the waves of pleasure with your partner without entering any refractory period.
In order to get to this point, there are a few things you’ll have to do. The first of which is to completely re-program your beliefs around what is possible in sex. You’ll have to overcome premature ejaculation, and you’ll have to be able to spread your sexual energy into your entire body during sex (so it doesn’t stay localized in your genitals, building up sexual pressure so you have to ejaculate). I promise you it’s possible to get here with practice. I went from painstaking struggles with premature ejaculation to being able to make love for hours while having all kinds of orgasmic pleasure. You can do it too.
2. Practice Semen Retention
This is what it looks like to practice semen retention.
Think about it… most men ejaculate 3 to 4 times per week, and the effects of a single ejaculation last for days. Do the math.
In Tantra, the practice of semen retention is referred to as “Brahmacharya.” In Taoist Sexuality, it’s sometimes called “The Tao of Love.” Both systems see your ejaculate as holy, and as a substance that should be treated with reverence and love – a substance not to be wasted. Both systems say that when you ejaculate you release some of your vital lifeforce energy, and that it takes a bit for your system to get back up and running fully.
This doesn’t mean you can never ejaculate, these systems simply suggest that you should ejaculate at a frequency that is ideal for your ENTIRE being (which is way less often than most men ejaculate). They give some recommendations as to the amount of time between ejaculations, but you are really the only person who will be able to figure this out for yourself.
To be clear, I love ejaculating. It feels great, and the experience of sharing this with a partner can be magical (especially when you ejaculate only on occasion). My personal sexual practice is to have both non-ejaculatory orgasms and ejaculatory orgasms. I choose to retain my semen and ejaculate only once every 10-15 days or so, with as much sex and non-ejaculatory orgasms as I want during that time).
Semen retention is about more than just retaining your sperm – it’s a lifestyle practice of noticing any energy leak in your body/mind/spirit, and plugging that leak so you can live a fully charged life. There’s no point in trying to fill a cup with water if the cup has holes in it… Once you plug the holes, then the practice is to increase the size of the cup – and keep filling.
If you want to try this practice and build your sexual energy, check out my free 7-Day Semen Retention Challenge for men (link will open in a new tab, and you can start immediately).
Let’s keep going with this article…
The next major thing you can do to build your sexual energy is:
3. Stop Watching Porn
Porn isn’t inherently bad, but I do believe the way most men use it is harmful for us. It disconnects us from ourselves, and from other people… Porn is literally just pixels on a screen, and while our body reacts to it, there is ZERO energetic connection between you and the humans in that scene.
Have you ever paid attention to how feel after you watch porn? The minutes, hours and days after? After I watch porn I feel depleted, energetically drained, and I lose some level of connection with the people around me. The physical arousal from porn combined with the lack of connection to myself or a lover really does a number on my system… I’m guessing you feel the same.
Remember that porn is specifically created to be as stimulating/addictive as possible… and no human could possibly compete with a video that is professionally edited to switch camera angles every 7 seconds. Porn desensitizes us to the magical energy of sex that’s available within our own body, and in connection with real humans.
4. Do a Regular Morning Practice
If you want to build your sexual energy, then it’s important to live a proactive life. Instead of looking at your phone when you wake up, choose to prime your body, mind and spirit with some sort of practice that aligns you with your purpose and connects you with life. Personally, I rotate between 4 practices in the morning: breathwork, qigong, walking meditation or yoga.
My life changed when I started a consistent morning practice. I don’t think the importance of this can really be put into words, but I’ll try.
When you start your day with proactivity (instead of the reactivity that comes with looking at your phone) you are training your system to be more proactive in general. This has profound effects on the decisions you make throughout your day, and living a proactive life is very helpful when it comes to learning how to have non-ejaculatory orgasms and mastering the art of semen retention. These things take discipline and substantial proactive action.
To take your practice one step further, let’s move on to the 5th thing you can do to build your sexual energy:
5. Integrate Your Sexuality With Your Spiritual Practice
It doesn’t matter what your faith is. Bridge the gap between your sexuality and your spirituality. Find a way to do this, and your life will improve dramatically.Â
Here’s a personal example. When I do yoga, I incorporate awareness of my genitals and sexual energy into the poses. When I do qigong, I often run my hands over my genitals in the forms. Sometimes to build and integrate my sexual energy, I will masturbate (self pleasure) for a few minutes without ejaculating, and then immediately do a yoga, qigong or breathwork practice.
Whatever practice you do, a great way to begin playing with this integration is to pleasure yourself for a few minutes without ejaculating, and then go right into your spiritual practice. Notice what happens. Can you integrate this energy? Can you stay focused? What comes through?
If you want to take it one step further and try something really incredible and edgy (at least it was edgy for me), you could stand naked in front of a mirror and gaze into your own eyes while you pleasure yourself. While looking into your own eyes, see if you can access that part of yourself that is Life – that is Consciousness. That part of you that is connected to all things. You are your own greatest lover… If you can do this with yourself, just imagine what presence you can bring to ANY scenario in life.
In Closing…
Sexual energy is powerful, your sexual choices impact your entire life, and you have the opportunity to harness this energy and use it for good.
When you do, I promise you your life will be better than you could have imagined.
RECAP: The 5 Ways to Build Your Sexual Energy:
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- Learn to orgasm without ejaculation
- Practice semen retention
- Stop watching porn
- Do a regular morning practice
- Integrate your sexuality with your spiritual practice
And remember this…
You can do all of the sexual and spiritual practices in the world, but if you’re not getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods and drinking enough water, it won’t matter. Be mindful of all of your life choices – they have real impact (and I’m saying this for myself too).
If this article has helped you in any way, please share it with a friend. The world needs more of us men to talk about this.
I hope you have an epic day wherever you are in the world.
-Taylor
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